


Never Get Over

by misomilk



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: AkuSai, M/M, leaisa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-26
Updated: 2014-11-06
Packaged: 2018-02-18 21:13:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 4,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2362343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misomilk/pseuds/misomilk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"As long as the stars shine down from the heavens, as long as the rivers run to the sea, I'll never get over you getting over me." -- Bellefire // A series of Akusai drabbles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 20140607 Isa swears to never pun again

"You know what," Isa started, eyes furrowed and lips pursed, his face showing absolute discontent at the charcoaled bacon Lea set on his plate before him. "I fell in love with you the way you burn food when you cook." He paused. "Immediately."

Despite Isa’s angry exterior, he was actually trying to stop himself from laughing. He was impressed with himself, coming up with a pretty good pun on that quote he’s been seeing a lot on posters recently. (A quote from an upcoming film, he presumed.) He’d pat himself on the back if he could.

Silence passed them as Isa expected Lea to respond, to start on this day’s bout of banter. Isa thought he’d say, Unlike you, other people actually need to use fire to cook food rather than just peel bananas and put oatmeal in the microwave, or Well, I don’t see you wearing the cooking apron! Geez, get the hell off my case, or anything else offensive.

Lea’s actual reply was the reply he least expected hear.

"Did you just—" Lea snorted, almost falling off the chair he just sat on, his own plate of charred bacon laid in front of him, "did you just tell me you fell in love with me immediately?”

The hue on Isa’s face turned redder as it further dawned on him what a grave mistake he’d just made. Lea was still laughing boisterously.

Lea then propped his chin on his hands, eyes fluttering and sparkling with joy and a sly smile on his lips as he teased, “Darn, Isa. I didn’t know you fell for me that quickly.”

Isa growled. This was not what he expected to deal with, coming from a gloriously built pun. “You do realize you’re insulting your own cooking?”

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, Isa. No changing of topic. I’m not letting this one go." Lea grinned, leaning his cheek on one hand. He stare up towards the ceiling in thought for one moment, and then stared back at Isa, who’s face was still flushed red. "I wonder what made you fall for me so fast. Was it my charming good looks and glorious sense of humor? Or was it the sea salt ice cream I treated you? The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” 

In all his annoyance and frustration, Isa could only reply, “Just shut up, Lea.”

Isa resolved to never make a pun again.


	2. 20140720 Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for Akusai month 2014, Day 12 :: Promises  
> Lea would probably never guess how much his tiny little promises meant to Isa.  
> Post-KH3. Headcanons galore.

Lea had been in the kitchen, fixing up sandwiches for lunch that Saturday afternoon when he heard a loud scream come from the living room. He rushed to where he heard it come from and found Isa rolling on the floor, gripping his head in pain as he screamed his lungs out. Lea quickly kneeled on the floor, took Isa in his arms, and rocked him to stop the other from moving too wildly and calm him down.

"Isa, Isa, it’s okay. It’s me." Lea tightened his arms around Isa. "You’re okay. You’re with me."

At that moment, Isa woke up, opening his eyes wide. His gaze darted to different parts of the room in a panic, as if searching for something. Tears fell from his blue eyes as he tried to even his breathing. “He was back, Lea.” Isa started, and Lea had to bite down his lip. This again? “I’m sure it was him— With those cold, golden eyes and I just—- He said he’d— He was going after you, Lea. He was going to kill you and I couldn’t—”

"It’s just a dream, Isa." The redhead stroked Isa’s long blue hair to comfort him. Isa had been having nightmares of Xehanort ever since he’d gotten his own body back. Whether it’s when he’s taking a nap, or when he’s sleeping at night, the old bastard kept haunting him in his sleep.

"He must still be in there, Lea. He must still be inside me." Isa gripped onto Lea’s shirt until his knuckles went white, trying to grip himself to any piece of this reality so he wouldn’t go back to that haunted space where Xehanort lingered.

"He’s not. We’ve finished him off. There’s no Xehanort anymore, anywhere."

"How sure could you be?" Lea didn’t know how it was. He had no idea how Xehanort was able to corrupt him from the inside, how it happened gradually over the span of ten years, how Xehanort blended himself to every fiber of Isa’s being. It felt gross, dirty and unclean, and Isa felt like he would never be purified of it.

"Listen to me, Isa," Lea cupped Isa’s face between his hands, thumbs wiping flushed cheeks from tears. He stared Isa right in his blue eyes filled with fear, and tried his hardest to pour all his sincerity in his words, if only they could help drive Isa’s fears away. "Xehanort is gone. I’ll remind you of that every day, every moment you wake up from those nightmares, until those nightmares fade away. Alright?"

The redhead placed a soft, gentle kiss at the middle of the bluehaired’s X-shaped scar. “I promise.”

Isa found it funny how despite years they’d spent emotionally distant, Lea still had the power to calm his nerves this way—how Lea’s arms around him tamed his bursting feelings, how Lea’s warmth against him settled him into a cradle of calm blue fire, and how Lea’s kisses chased his fears away.

Lea would probably never be able to guess how much that tiny little promise meant to him.

Tiny little promises.  
Tiny little bandaids on Isa’s heart, covering the holes glass shards of hurt gashed on it in the past decade of pain he’d struggled through, piecing his heart together bit by bit until it can be whole again.


	3. 20140723 Tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for Akusai month 2014, Day 15 :: Tears  
> It wasn’t easy for Isa to get used to this new life.  
> Post-KH3. Headcanons galore. Seasalt family.

It wasn’t easy to get used to this new life.

Who would expect it to be easy? The guilt from a year he spent talking down to these three people—who now welcomed him with wide, open arms—held him back from simply falling into the warmth of their love.

Xion, once just a useless tin puppet to him, now cooks breakfast everyday with him. Pancakes were their favorite meal to prepare. Isa taught her how to properly flip a pancake, and how to whisk it properly to give it the right amount of fluffiness. (He was surprised, himself, that he still remembered things he hadn’t done in a decade.) It was one of this favorite times of the day.

Roxas, once a thorn in his side, now takes him up to the tower in Twilight Town whenever he needed someone to confide on. (He could take Isa more seriously than Lea, the boy admitted.) Though Isa couldn’t give proper advice sometimes, Roxas was happy enough Isa listened to him and gave him words of encouragement. Besides, Roxas was pleasantly surprised that seasalt ice cream could taste sweeter when he ate it with Isa.

Axel—Lea. Still as obnoxious as ever, with a hold on his heart tighter than it had ever been. The once bane of his existence was now the very reason he got his body back. Isa still couldn’t believe it—how after years of detachment, Lea found a reason good enough to try getting Isa back. A reason that made Lea strong enough to fight against a power that was much, much greater than him.

With these three people welcoming him into their lives, Isa felt like he received so much more than he deserved. As he pondered on this one afternoon, he couldn’t help the tears from falling.

"Darn, Isa, you’re such a crybaby." Lea teased when he caught Isa crying.

Isa laughed, sensing the cozy affection beneath the words. He wiped the tears away. “It’s cause it’s such a pain living with you.”

"Heh." Lea grinned.

"We’re home!" Two voices came from the door, and Isa felt the warmth settle on his chest as their laughter echoed around the tiny apartment they now call home.

It wasn’t easy to get used to this new life. But it turns out, with three new reasons to feel happy all the time, three new ways to break his heart, three people he loved so much more than he thought he could ever come to love, it wasn’t so difficult either.


	4. 20140730 Hair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for Akusai month 2014, Day 22 :: Hair  
> Isa’s hair was as blue as the bright skies above, and Lea’s was red like the warm colors the sun paints unto the skies.  
> Post-KH3. Headcanons galore.   
> WARNING: hints at sexual themes

Blue like the bright skies above, smooth as silk that slid against his fingers, and fragrant like a vast field of lavender having him entranced by its sweet scent.

Lea loved Isa’s hair.

He loved how the blue-head tied it up, leaving strands falling from its messy epicenter, whenever he prepared breakfast with Xion to frame his beautiful face. He loved how uncontrollably wild it gets when the bluehead dries it after taking a shower. (It only flattens once Isa’s brushed it.) He loved how it casts a curtain over him when Isa rides him into climax, painting the perfect picture of the blue he so loves on the very person he loves most, raw with want and pleasure.

When Isa cut his hair short, a little part of Lea died, a little part that was quickly revived by the delicious sight of Isa’s nape, no longer hidden by the once beautiful blue curtain. Since then, Lea took every chance he got to plant a kiss at the sexy expanse of skin, never forgetting to add a whispered “I love you” that always brought a husky moan from Isa’s throat.

— — — — —

Red like the warm colors the sun paints unto the blue sky, defies gravity like the way he defied all odds to save a friend who once betrayed him, yet soft and warm like the gentle soul hiding beneath the layers of fiery passion.

Isa loved Lea’s hair.

He loved how the redhead tried to tame it down with a headband when it got too long (and it gets long really quickly). He loved how fluffy they feel against his face when he pulls Lea close before falling to sleep. He loved how the strands, wet with sweat, stick to the redhead’s face and neck, as Lea pants beneath him, writhing in pleasure as the smell of sex fills the room.

Isa knew Lea felt much for his hair as much as he felt for Lea’s. He knew cutting his hair short would affect Lea in some way (perhaps sadden him), but he certainly didn’t expect Lea to respond this way. Lea had gotten much more touchy-feely, specifically at the back of his neck, ever since Isa cut his hair. It didn’t bother Isa. In fact, the way Lea’s warm breath tickled his neck as they lie connected in bed, made him much more certain he made the right decision.


	5. 20140926 Not meant to last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some friendships were not meant to last. Isa has accepted that, and is ready to just let this all end.

Friendships don't need to last. Some simply fade away. Similarly, you don't need to _be_ with someone to stay friends. If anything, Axel's and Saix's friendship breaking down, despite the fact they stayed under the Organization for ten years, was proof of that. Even a measly friendship with a kid and a puppet (wait what puppet?) that hadn't spanned a full year could be stronger than 10 years' worth of one-sided dedication.

Yet here he was, Isa's bane of existence, pleading him to come back to his side.

"Isa, please. Let's fix this." Lea's face was serious, eyes deep and lips in a flat line. His brows pushed together so hard like he was pleading with all his might. "We don't have to do this."

They stood a few feet away from each other. Weapons in hand. They were in midst of a battle that would not end, and Lea chose the perfect time to start persuading Isa to come back.

"That, indeed." Isa flipped his hair with his free hand. "There's nothing that needs to be done. Nothing that needs to be fixed."

"Stop saying that!" Lea was screaming then. One fist clenched tight. The other gripping his flaring Keyblade tighter. "We can go back. We can change back to how we were, Isa. If you just--"

"Back? To what?" Isa cut him off, not wanting to hear any more about change and constant things. Not when Lea still had the same way he called Isa's name that made Isa hear sparkles by his ear, and made his chest feel like cotton candy, when all he was used to hearing was scratchy noise and feeling needles pierce his chest. "We can't change what happened. Even if we simply ignore all the bad that's happened, we--"

Isa looked into Lea's eyes then. He'd tried avoiding those clear, green orbs this whole time. Isa couldn't tell if the hurt he saw in them was Lea's, or just a reflection of his own.

He managed to continue without a bat of an eye. "We'll only end up the same way. We've had hearts this whole time, and we ended up this way. This rift between us was inevitable."

The next moments flew by silently. Lea seemed like he had a thousand arguments popping into his head to counter Isa, but none of them came up to surface. Isa could feel the heat of anger pulsing from Lea from the few feet he stood away from him.

Isa gripped his Claymore tight, begging strength from the moon above one last time that night, in order to finally end this battle.

Some friendships don't need to last. Isa reminded himself again.

Toxic ones need to be abolished. They offer nothing but heartache. The same way that Isa's tiny void of a heart could not house the fiesty fires of Lea's passionate emotions, and only ever caused them both pain.

Things were better this way. Lea would go back to the friends that _do_ matter. And then it will all be over.

It will all be over.

Isa was just so, so tired.

Just let this pain end.


	6. 20140929 Dark Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Headcanon: Isa dies protecting Roxas in KH3. For Lea.

Roxas was special to Lea. So no matter how hurtful it was for Isa to admit, he could not bear to think of how awful Lea would feel if he found out Roxas died.

Roxas was Lea's ray of sunshine now. (Isa could tell by the glorious blond hair and the sky deep blue eyes. Non-sarcastic. Cheery, bright smile. How could Lea _not_ be baited by that?) And Isa was always the moon. He could never shine a light on Lea the way Roxas could.

Isa only ever reflected Lea's own light back to him, anyway.

All Isa could ever offer was darkness and his life. That was all there was to Isa's name. He couldn't bring any further darkness into Lea's life, of course. So giving up his life was the least he could do.

Ironic, but Isa decided it was best to give it to the person he once envied. The boy who then currently received the affection Isa knew and expreienced once upon a time. It's _because_ Isa knows the intensity of Lea's emotions--has felt it in his fingertips when they held hands, on his lips when they kissed, inside him when they showed just how much they really loved each other--Isa knew how important Lea's loved ones were to him. He knew how Lea could easily break at the loss of them.

So, Isa decided it was best to protect Roxas at all costs. He does so without much of a second thought, standing between a Xehanort clone and Roxas. He let the weapon gauge through his torso the same way he once stabbed through Lea.

It's all ironic in Isa's head.

He helped the shit kid who took Lea away.  
He received a finishing blow similar to how he almost ended Lea's life.  
He was about to die.

It was all shit.  
But it was all Isa could do.

Roxas was surprised when he caught Saix (he still didn't know his true name was Isa) fall when the attacker pulled out his weapon. Xion, who was too shocked to act a few moments earlier, started to pressure the attacker to give him time to heal Saix, the boy assumed.

"Saix," Roxas started. He was shaking his head violently, trying to process what was happening. "what were you doing? What--what were you _thinking_? I don't--"

"Heh," Isa managed after coughing out an iron taste in his mouth. "I just... wanted to see him smile again."

Tears were trying to push through his eyes then. He looked up at Roxas, his eyesight blurring. "That was all I ever wanted."

Isa closed his eyes and tried to picture Lea... but all he could see was Axel.  
Axel talking back at him.  
Axel scowling at him with his two friends behind him holding the ice cream Lea and Isa once shared.  
Axel throwing off all warnings Saix desperately called out to him, giving them no heed.

Lea was lost.  
His smile.  
His warmth.  
His everything.  
They were all buried so deep in Isa's remorse, he couldn't even picture him smiling.

Isa breathed his last breath in a sob.

He still didn't get what he wanted in the end.


	7. 20141003 No more fucks to give

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One-sided Akusai. Rated T for the title and that One Line. Also partial mention of suicide? Maybe?  
> Inspired by the recent KH2.5 secret ending. Spoilers underneath. My take on what happened to Isa after he died when we defeat him as Sora, and a little bit before the final Throne Room scene in KH3D.

The sound of trains running against the tracks. The eternal orange glow of the mighty sunset. The feeling of warmth of people smiling and greeting each other as they passed by each other.

Isa didn't know how, but he ended up in Twilight Town.

His last memory was that of Kingdom Hearts. He was staring up at it, reaching for it, clenching his chest in pain-that-shouldn't-Be. He was defeated by Sora--by Roxas. Throughout battle the boy seemed to keep changing faces, and kept catching Isa off guard during the transition. (Isa could still see the anger in Roxas' face as the boy struck Saix down a few times with his own Claymore during battle. Funny how the boy keeps taking things from Isa, and seems to think it's his right to.) And then, as far as he knew, he should have disappeared forever.

Isa didn't know how he ended up in Twilight Town.

He started walking about. He let his feet guide him, without any true idea where he was going. His mind was blank, and if anybody bothered to look at him, he would have seemed like a zombie. He stopped in front of a tall building from where the sound of trains seemed to come from, looked up and realized: it was a clock tower.

A clock tower.

He'd heard of this clock tower somewhere before--within gossip of other organization members while Saix waited for mission reports to be handed in, within Xigbar's wicked chuckles when a certain duo came into the room together, within joyful giggles and pleasant whispers of who gets to buy ice cream next.

It was  _his_  clock tower.

Isa stared. His breath caught in his throat, and he could feel water was trying to push through his eyes. He let his breathe out in a shaky whimper.

It was  _his_  clock tower. It was Lea's clock tower. Lea's and--and... It was  _their_  clock tower.

What was this? How could it be? Why was Isa here? Did he not have enough reminders of the painful rift that grew between him and Lea in his past life?

Even amidst Isa's confusion and panic, he sensed two dark figures arrive at the ledge of the clock tower. He couldn't see their faces--but he knew. He  _knew_. It was them.

He couldn't hear their conversation, couldn't see the smiles on their faces, couldn't sense the sparkling affection in their eyes--but it broke him. Oh, how it broke Isa.

Isa realized then why he ended up in Twilight Town.

It was a Twilight Town, perhaps, in Lea's heart. Wherever Lea's heart was, that's where Isa would go, too. His heart still longed for Lea's heart, after all. His heart was inseparable from Lea's.

It didn't mean Isa had a place in it, though.

The thing was, Isa's heart would always and always chase after Lea's. It didn't matter that he'd never been successful. Not even once.

Even now. Lea's world started pushing Isa away. The orange hues turned black, the buildings turned into dust, the clock tower faded into nothing. Isa was pushed out of Lea's world, and was left where he best ought to be: in darkness.

Isa didn't cry. He'd already dried himself of all his tears a decade ago. It's why he was stripped of all emotion. He no longer had anything left to feel but raw anger, anguish and bitterness.

He couldn't tell how long he stayed in that void of black, or if he actually just had his eyes closed. Once he opened his eyes: he was once again in the Throne Room.

"Rise and shine." He heard from somewhere to his right. It was a familiar, naggy voice. One that had dragged him to the edge of hell with endless taunts. Isa looked to the source: it was Braig. "Sure took you long enough to wake up from your beauty sleep."

Isa didn't utter a word. He just let his head hang low, loose in his neck, and stared at the floor. He still didn't have any energy to do anything, even breathe.

_Maybe if I stopped breathing it will all finally end._

"You have been chosen." Someone new spoke. Isa couldn't see who it was. "Welcome, the Seventh Vessel."

Isa didn't know what that meant. He didn't know why he was here, in a different place. He didn't know how he still  _was_  when he should have just  _disappeared_. He realized he was at a point, again, where he didn't know the reason behind anything that was happening. It was a familiar feeling--but when he experienced it before, there was a hand holding his. There was someone to support him. There was Lea to rely on.

When Isa stared long enough at the floor, he could see him and Lea hand in hand, standing at the center of the circular room, waiting to be judged of their usefulness.

Isa closed his eyes and breathed.

Whatever happens this point onwards wouldn't matter. Not anymore.

Isa no longer had any fucks to give.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're wondering about the scene Isa describes in the Clock Tower, yes, it's that akuroku scene before Lea wakes up in KH3D.


	8. 20141106 Got it memorized?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [this prompt](http://spoon-o.tumblr.com/post/101917792189): But what if Isa started picking up on some of Lea’s mannerisms. Like he caught himself more than once saying “got it memorized?” while trying to get a point across.
> 
> It doesn't exactly fulfill the prompt, but I really liked the scene that played in my head, so I wrote it out. :'D

Isa was teaching Xion how to make apple pie when  _it_  happened.

He was explaining to her the ideal ratio between cinnamon, sugar and apple while he mixed them in a metal bowl. That’s when the words slipped out of his mouth before he could think.

"Got it memorized?"

As soon as the last syllable went past his lips, he became as red as the apple peels on the counter, realizing Lea’s catchphrase had rubbed off on him. Xion laughing at his little slip of the tongue only made him blush further.

"Xion!" Isa tried to hush her, fearful Lea (who was in the other room with Roxas, playing a game) might hear.

Xion tried to hush her laughter down. “So-sorry, Isa. It’s just— It’s so funny to—” She wiped the tears that came out of laughing too hard.

"What’s so funny?" Lea came into the kitchen, two empty glasses in hand. He set them on the counter to take the orange juice out from the fridge to refill them with.

"Nothing, nothing." Xion said, the first with a twiddle of her voice, the second a bit more as-a-matter-of-fact-ly. She was still trying hard to prevent herself from laughing.

Isa was staring deadpan at the redhead, as if he wasn’t blushing full force a moment earlier.

"If you say so." He shut the refrigerator back shut. "By the way, Isa," Lea grinned straight at Isa then. "You should put your finger to your forehead next time. Like this." He motioned his finger to his forehead. "Got it memorized?" Lea winked at Isa before returning to the other room, where Roxas awaited his next glass of orange juice (and his chance to kick Lea’s ass on the next part of their game).

Xion started laughing again, exclaiming “I can’t believe he  _heard_  you!”, as Isa stood there, dumbfounded, blushing to the core and let himself die slowly out of embarrassment.

Lea was never gonna let him live this down.


End file.
